One of the most daunting processes we encounter on our journey through life is letting go. It is a natural part of human behavior to create a sense of identity around the meaningful people, places, and things in our lives, as well as what those things represent. We find comfort in holding on to the stories that we have created about ourselves, stories that feel familiar, even though they may no longer exemplify the person that we are today. There is kinship between ourselves and all that inhabits our life. Choosing to let go of something we truly value, desire, or appreciate, feels as if we are losing something too precious to live without, as if we are losing an integral part of ourselves. It is a trust fall into the unknown.
The reality is that we are not letting go “of” something in our lives, we are actually letting go “to” an awakening energy, something new and astonishing. Do you feel the difference in changing just that one little word? Did you notice a shift in your consciousness around this perspective? When we let go, we allow the Universe to fill and replenish us in unpredictable ways. We become more authentic and organic in our day-to-day living. To use a very simple analogy, when we let go of an unhealthy habit, we are letting go to health, self-care, and well-being. When we choose to let go of anger or resentment, we are letting go to love and increasing our self-worth. In letting go, we are affirming that we value, honor, respect, and have reverence for ourselves. If we don’t, then no one else will, either.
“All will be lost until you succumb to the notion that all you’ve desperately tried to hold was never possessed. Rather it moved through you, beckoning you to loosen yourself from the rigidity of your expectations and float into abundance. The loss you feared was simply the idea of control over something that will not be reigned and if it could be bridled, would simply drag you along without noticing you at all, for your lack of complimentary collaboration.” ~ Epic Piper
Every ending, in truth, is a new beginning. Letting go fosters courage and cultivates the inner stability that sustains us through challenging times. Letting go teaches us how to live more gracefully in a groundless state. What does it mean to live in a groundless state? To live in a groundless state is the ability to surrender to the fundamental uncertainty of our situation. It means abandoning our preferences and bias for things that are pleasant, easy, or anything that allows us to perpetuate the illusion of our own “okayness”. Letting go alleviates the suffering associated with reaching for, and leaning into, all that is impermanent.
During my lifetime, I have taken some huge risks and more than a few trust falls, confident that the Universe had my back. It may not have always looked like success in the popular sense of the word; however, from the perspective of this now moment, I am very grateful for all that has shaped the course of my life and made me the strong, responsible, and resilient person that I am today. I know who I am and I know what fulfills, inspires, and motivates me. I fully inhabit myself and take great pleasure and delight in whatever I am engaged with in the present moment. In order for something to be a constituent of my life, it has to truly move me, stir my soul, make me feel more expanded, alive, empowered, and connected. If it does not, then I get honest and unconstrained with myself, my emotions, expectations, motivations, and get to the heart of the matter. Three questions that I frequently ask myself are: “Why have I created this experience in my life?”, “What can I learn from this experience?”, and “What do I need to let go of in this situation, in order to create space to grow?” The responses and feedback I receive internally from posing these questions is the fertile ground for my decision-making process.
Letting go necessitates a high level of responsibility and integrity. Obviously, I am not saying that if you are unhappy with your job, to abruptly walk away from that which supports you and/or your family without a plan, savings, or adequate resources to transition to a new job or career. What you can do until you reach that pivotal point, is to consciously unwind the energies that are trapping you in an unfulfilling situation. Observe the dynamics of the interactions with your coworkers and peers, and let go of the drama, tension, or power struggles that may be holding you back. Cultivate healthy energy that increases your vibration, and begin to create bridges or nurture relationships that may lead to a job or career field that is more in alignment with who you are.
- How does this enrich my life?
- Does this make me feel more alive or inspired?
- If I let go of this, what will my life look like?
- What can I do that I have never done before?
One of the biggest shifts for me personally, is letting go to freedom. When I am faced with a decision and grappling with myself about how painful it is to let go of something, I remind myself that I am letting go to freedom, I am letting go to curiosity, I am letting go vulnerability. This is what creates the rasa, the flavor or “juice” in my life. The Universe now has the opportunity to bring something completely unexpected into my experience. And, believe me, there have been some outstanding opportunities and surprises that would not have shown up if I had not let go of something else! So, it is time to let go of the clutter. Let go of the anxiety. Let go of those few extra pounds that have creeped up on you. Let go of the painful shadow of your past and transform your narrative about who you are. Let go of the need to know and control. Let go of the desires and expectations that people will behave in a certain way, after all, they are just doing their own being. Let go of the wounds from past relationships that are occupying your heart; free yourself from the painful attachments that are binding you to that other person and be willing to let go of that old love and open the gateway for new love to enter and flourish.
One last point, letting go cleans up the energy between you and another person. It unravels the knots, whether those knots are thoughts, emotions, memories, desires, etc. In essence, you are giving them back to themselves and reclaiming your own energy. I make it a daily practice to let go of attachments to the people I love most, the people who are most precious in my life, and this practice of not grasping or trying to control, of letting go actually nourishes and sustains those relationships. Letting go is letting go to Love. Letting go is letting go to Life.
May the Universe guide you and support you in letting go to an amazing new experience!
Walk in Beauty,